It is exceedingly difficult to lose someone we care about. It matters not if we actually know them one-on-one. We have our heroes, those we look up to and admire.
A while back someone told me that God needed another rose for His garden. And then I heard that He needed another angel for His choir.
In some small way those claims helped me to make sense of things that sometimes make no sense. Pain is inevitable, but I am told that suffering is optional, dependent on the trust we have in God.
I am sorry you are in pain. Be assured it will pass. I Love You...